The 40 Signs a Laowai Has Been in China Too Long

1. You will not get drunk no matter how many cups of rice wine you drink.
2. You like wearing slippers everywhere and often wear your pajamas to go to the convince store.
3. When walking in the park you can sleepwalk and listen to your mp3 player at the same time.
4. Badminton and ping pong have become your main sport activities.
5. You smoke in elevators.
6. You forget how to have sex in English.
7. You discover using a western-style toilet is uncomfortable.
8. You ask people what animal-year they are.
9. You don t mind squatting, anywhere, anytime.
10. You start to like moon cakes.
11. You tell your parents that their home s fengshui is bad.
12. You don t feel strange seeing elderly women collecting cans and bottles from garbage bins.
13. You say Aiya! when you re amazed, excited, in pain or angry.
14. You begin to believe you re quite tall, but you re really only 1.74m (5ft8).
15. You bring large quantities of cash when you go to the hospital or store.
16. When you eat fish you freely spit the bones on the table and no longer notice its eye is looking at you.
17. Your cell phone’s language is set to “Chinese”.
18. You begin to think that buying a new bike is quite stupid because those black market ones cost half as much.
19. You bring your own TP to the bathroom.
20. You can use chopsticks to pick up all different types of food, including peanuts, but when people praise your good ability you get upset.
21. You like to look at what other people are buying in the store.
22. When shopping in Carrefour, you look into other foreigners baskets because you want to know what foreigners eat.
23. You begin to call other foreigners laowai.
24. You think McDonald s and KFC taste good.
25. Your Mandarin is better than many Chinese and you often correct their bad pronunciation.
26. You no longer like to introduce China to newcomers.
27. When Chinese don t stare at you, you wonder why.
28. Firecrackers can no longer wake you up.
29. You like to have hot soup with your dinner and not a cold drink.
30. Chinese ask you for directions.
31. After leaving China you miss Chinese food.
32. In summer time you roll your pants up to your knees when it’s too hot.
33. When entering your house you change into slippers.
34. You think it is strange to pay a lot for software.
35. When the person sitting next to you on the bus wants to get by you don t stand up, just twist sideways.
36. You begin to think your nose is too big.
37. When in a taxi you hum along with the Chinese pop music on the radio.
38. You now consider soy sauce to be a cooking ingredient, not a condiment.
39. In the winter you carry around a tea thermos and refill it with hot water all day long.
40. You blog only 4 times a year, and when you do you just copy other people s entries, and post it on your own with several additions and subtractions without giving them credit.

для меня абсолютно сработали 2, 4 и 13)))))))

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